Home ➨ As One Devil to Another: Sample Letter - XV Modern Art
My dear Scardagger,
My, my, we do enjoy our little bells and whistles, don't we? May I remind you that legions of accomplished tempters, such as myself, have laboured for centuries, producing an unbroken chain of triumph without the little baubles favoured by the second-rate and the lazy? However, I am forced to admit that it is senseless not to employ the lovely tools the humans have placed at our feet, as some day they shall place themselves.
Computers, yes. Computer technology, games, and all the electronic paraphernalia, as you suggest, are for our purposes much like Television, only better. The Internet can teach too, and we shall be the instructors. It does not have quite the same advantage of corporate control, though each day we are working successfully to close this bothersome gap, but oh, Scardagger, the compensations! With this gift of His Infernal Majesty, we have been blessed with the nanosecond attention span, the erosion of patience, the exponential growth of credulity and gullibility, the silent proliferation of pornography, and the removal of most of the societal barriers that formerly obstructed it. It has also given us greater access to children, who could once have been kept away from television by their parents, but now are in control of the device, having a better grasp of its workings than their parents, circumventing internally placed restrictions, viewing as they please, and then covering their tracks. The Internet allows us the advantages of stealth with the convenience of disguise. The Virtual World is Our World.
And so we have concocted the Virtual Community. What a delectable fraud. You would have thought that even the most skilled of the Grand Strategists in our Philological Department would not have attempted, much less accomplished, such a feat, but these are the wages of audacity. We have brought the humans to the point where participation in a 'community' no longer means the physical proximity of other humans with whom they can speak, eat, drink, work, play, and worship, but is instead synonymous with sitting in a darkened room alone, staring at a video screen, 'chatting' with they know not whom, soliciting 'information' or advice from sources utterly opaque, their 'friends' having thoughts and motives which they can never divine. We shall be their friends. What we can offer, by comparison, is indisputably and eternally real.
All nations die from an excess of the principles that gave them birth, including democracies. Fortunately, the only humans who know this are the ones who can actually read good books and are willing to make the effort. In a democracy, every man is to have the right to express his opinion through his vote. Each vote is of equal weight. It is our task to convince them that each man's opinion thus has equal value, especially the fool's. You will readily see, once again that the Internet has been dropped into our laps. Now, every fool — and, of course, the most predatory corporations — has a voice equal in volume, and thus equal in value, to anyone else's. Genuine expertise is silenced in a cacophony of opinion. No single voice, however sane and informed, is of any value at all. This takes the Man-in-the-Street Interview to even greater heights of absurdity. After all, when did the Man in the Street ever possess the thoughtfulness, education, perspective, patience, time for reflection, emotional depth, and reasoning skills to contribute anything? Once again, the Age of Narcissism brings Subjectivity to our aid. Why listen to someone who can instruct you, challenge you, and make you think, when you can speak endlessly, without being corrected by your betters, on any matter whatever, even those you know nothing about, your own cocksureness and ignorance petted and affirmed by a sweet dash of flattery from those at your own level?
And just when you thought television could not be made more toxic, we have created Reality Television. It is enough to make one weep with joy. When have two words ever been more inappropriately paired? By this amazingly sinister adaptation (sinister even by our standards), we have transformed behaviour which they would once have engaged in with shame, and viewed with embarrassment, into entertainment. The people who thus degrade themselves publicly through their predatory, basely competitive, victory-at-any-cost, emotionally and intellectually shallow conduct are catapulted to celebrity status. They become the humans other humans want to be. Some even ride to the victorious heights of fame by beating other human beings into unconsciousness. It reminds me of the good old days in the Arena. I thought those were lost forever.
Cellular telephones, by comparison, seem relatively harmless. With them, though, we separate each human from every other and from their common humanity by allowing them to 'keep in touch' (how does one not laugh?), maintaining their endless chatter at a conversational level of minimal sentience and maximum banality, feeding their narcissism while allowing them to be rude to two people simultaneously: the person to whom they are speaking and the other directly in front of them. Our work is not without its recreational moments.
Of course, with so many new advantages, I'm sure you realize that plausible excuses are fewer in number and failure will be met with greater severity than ever, as it should be. Success is both expected and demanded of us, which is something, I suggest as your Friend, that you take to heart.
Perhaps one day soon we will be able to manufacture virtual virtue, and dispense with the real kind entirely. Those are the days to live for!
With Warm Regards from your Loving Uncle and Mentor,